it's over!

i've broke off with him yesterday. i know i shouldn't do it but i just can't continue with someone when all i can treat him is a friend to me now.
he msg me yesterday night asking me whether wanna come out for a walk saying that it's been a long time since we last go out walk together. i told him i'm not in a mood. he replied saying that when will i ever have the mood? everytime tell him no mood. so i told him let's end our relationship. he couldn't take it as what i've expected. i told him to give himself sometime cause i won't change the decision which i've made. i even answer all the questions he asked me. but i guess he just dun get what i mean and he keep saying i didn't explain enough to him. well it's over anyway so there's no point explaining so much after all.
he meet out ah bao and hao yesterday night. i heard from fan that his condition is quite bad. just now while i was walking to fan house. i keep thinking how is him. it's not that i still got feelings for him that's why i think about him. but he's a good guy and i really dun wish to see him like this. before i made the desicion breaking up with him i kept thinking what should i really do. i can't force myself either. in the game of love there's always someone who will walk away feeling better and the other one doesn't.
being with him is not that kind of 'not good'. but it seems like whenever i go out with him i dun really enjoy myself. or maybe i should say it's totally not in my memories at all. i never use the word 'love' on him before. he asked me why before also. i dunno how to tell him. but he's always that confidence saying that one day i will say it to him. i ask myself whether is it i need more time on that. but i guess it's not.
u all might be thinking i'm talking rubbish here. if i dun love him and now i knew i was treating him as a friend then why do i still agree to be with him in the very first place. isn't it?
i dun wanna miss a good guy like him and he's been very sincere to me all along. i thought to myself that maybe i can give it a try cause he's someone that i can imagine my future with him. we started alright in the beginning. but to me it's not a normal feeling for something called 'love'. things which i bought for him and saying yes to him when he ask me out or whatever is because i keep reminding myself that he's my bf and being a gf of hers i should do my part. guess it was why we are getting well in the beginning. but i realised that i can't go on like this. its kinda no meaning for me and so my feelings for him is slowly becoming as a friend. that's why i started to treat him cold. i feel that i will treat him better as a friend and not gf.
that's the conclusion of why i made the decision. i hope he will soon come over it. cause i know how it feels also. may god made him realise it's impossible and he should get on with his normal life.